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07

Sep

I’m back stronger than ever.

I’m back stronger than ever.

11

Aug

Swisse

I’m here in switzerland for few days, with my aunt, and my two cousins.
In those days I think my silence and meditation bring me in the right way, I decided a Lot ‘bout new diets, even to start boxing. I like it for a long time but I was an hockey player and boxe wasn t in my plans, now I want sonething new, for change.
And i had discovered that alina maksimenko is my same height. SHES A THINSPO!
I want to lose weigh. Yep!

10

Aug

onefitmodel:

Fitspo, thinspo, motivation + tips! I follow back! :)

onefitmodel:

Fitspo, thinspo, motivation + tips! I follow back! :)

08

Aug

05

Aug

I don’t want to count how many calories has desperation .

01

Aug

In those days I m binging. When I start such this, every fucking time I can’t stop. I’d lost 3 kg, but I’m pretty sure that I have them again, back on my legs. My fucking fat legs.
My boyfriend doesn’t know , I think he ask to my best friend if I’m depressed.
Oh, yes I am.
But only because my fucking wheight is too high.
Once upon a time, it seems a lot of time, but its only the first anniversary, in those days i were at home again. Before hospital. Before few days in my bed. Before everybody looks at me because i was beautifoul. I was pure, without material intrests , and I was light..
I remember that i always think that If i was light enought i Can fly.
But it not happened .
I wasnt enought thin, i was only 45 kg per 175 cm.
They Make me i, even if at the beginning i wont eat, i remember, the first time that i drink a sugared drink.
For drinking an o.j. I need 2 hours.

Here I am now. Im fat. A fat pig.
I want back my legs…
I don’t wont those 25 kilos over… I don’t want to be’ such fat..
And binge.
And vomit.
And purge.
And feel full. Dirty. Stupid.

I want my life back.